Fear to step out of my comfort zone

Fear, what exactly is it? The major thing that stops us and locks us in the comfort zone. I was always afraid to step out of my comfort zone until one day I realized I could not live like that anymore, or should I say exist, because at that time I wasn’t living, I was only existing human being. I didn’t enjoy my life; everyday’s routine was eating me from the inside like a worm, slowly and painfully. I knew I have to change something because I was thirsty of feelings that I am living again, experiencing new emotions, meeting new people, learning new culture. After being stuck in the small Irish town for the last 6 years my heart and my mind were begging me to change surroundings, change the place and the way of living. To work in the same place, walk in the same streets, see the same faces everyday was just too much for me emotionally and the most difficult part of this was to meet people who i used to know, people who meant so much to me but they weren’t a part of my life anymore and I have no choice because every corner, of the street, little coffee shop, park, everything kept some kind of memories that I didn’t want to come back to again and the town was too small not to meet them in the supermarkets, shops or bars.

I could say I grew up in this town. I spend most important teenage years of my life in there, I met my first love, my current friends, my heart was broken so many times in that town, and to stay living in there wasn’t something that I wanted to do anymore.

I decided to leave everything behind and go abroad, to visit another country, get to know new culture, meet new people, and create different me. This was my decision which I came up with after a long time deeply thinking if this is really what I want and what I need. It was difficult to say YES, but my heart started beating faster when I was thinking about new life, different life and even though it was scary, I knew – this was exactly what I had to do, to step out of my comfort zone and go, experience, feel, LIVE!

I can say that I am strong person, but at the same time, I am a human being and it is  a good idea to have a backup plan just to feel a little bit safer while stepping into different living and culture, so my backup plan was to keep my job current job (which I was working for the last 4 years) and try to get transferred to some other country. This my plan have worked very well and sooner than a week I got a job position offer in the beautiful, economically strong, full of opportunities Berlin city.

Of course without at least one doubt my answer was ‘’yes, I am in when can I start?’’ after this everything was very excited, but at the same time I felt the fear, which was stopping me, making me think again, again and over again, maybe to change my mind and stay where I am, because it is going to be complicated to adopt in the culture, to be on my own without my family, my friends and maybe I am not strong enough to handle it. These different thoughts were protesting inside my head but people close to me were there for me, everyone was supporting me and that helped out a lot. It was amazing to feel all that support, good energy and that they believed in me. This pushed me forward to make this step.  It took me few weeks to have everything ready with my job and slowly but finally that day came, the day when I said goodbye to my friends, my colleagues, my family and that day my mind and my heart were empty of disappointments, everyday’s routine and fulfilled with excitement, to discover my new life. My mind and my heart were ready for the new adventure where were only me, who came here to create new herself and people who doesn’t know who I am!